Lessons from 26

Hey friends!

I hope this overdue post finds you all well.

MNEK …. his music continues to wow and move me.

The last few months have been more than a little insane, but what else is really new?  Since I last posted, I’ve been back home for Spring Break, basketball and badminton seasons have come and gone, still teaching 28 classes a week with a smile on my face (some days harder than others), last trips to Jeddah and Dammam have been made (tear), made it through quarter end madness, and oh yeah, I’m officially a wee bit older.

Still a big kid at heart!

Words that come to mind when I think about my year:

• Busy
• Stressful (equal amounts of eustress and distress)
• Challenging
• Weddings
• Adventure-filled
• Celebratory
• Mindful
• Courageous
• Exploration
• Persistent
• Grateful
• Clarity
• Confusion
• Intentional
• Self-love
• Plot twist

… just to name a few.

This year marked a lot of significant changes and transitions.  From my personal to professional life, each area felt as if I was being stretched and tested to see how much I really knew myself and about the life I wanted to live … at least for the moment.  While I met some situations with a definite ‘I DON’T FREAKING KNOW’, I confronted others with courage and honesty. 

The big general theme this year seemed to have been self-love.  Here is what I’ve learned:

• I always come first.  It is not selfish, but selFULL to make sure that my cup is always full before sharing and being of service to others.  Things that fill my cup: time with friends/family/awesome people, alone time to recharge, reading, playing music, getting active, unplugging, writing (online or in journal), meaningful creative outlets, rest.  What’s in my cup is mine, what overflows from it is yours.  But I cannot give what I do not have.  How I treat myself is how I treat God.  Thank you Iyanla for this amazing realization and Aha moment!  

I must have watched and shared this video 30+ times this year.  Such great wisdom!

• It is okay – in fact, more than okay – to let go of what no longer serves me.  This can be a habit, a routine, a job, or people.  I’ve learned to give myself permission to say ‘no’ and not feel bad about what no longer feeds my soul.  In so doing, I am learning to draw stronger boundaries, especially from people.  Everyone has their struggles and everyone has complexes to work through.  However, it has been empowering to realize that I do not have to be the one to hold their hands through it.  It is not my business nor my duty, especially when it is taking away from me more than it is filling me.  Relationships are two-ways.  When it’s not equal, it’s gotta go. 

I shared with some of my friends the other week that I am becoming more aware of the fact that I have a hard time receiving and accepting compliments and love.  It is weird as I usually do not mind and love the attention given that I am a natural entertainer, according to 16personalities.com (check it out if you haven’t, crazy accurate).  I basically put on a show everyday in the classroom.  However, when direct compliments are made towards me and/or when others express their gratitude and love for me, I get extremely uncomfortable.  As a result, I try to divert attention elsewhere to change the topic or make a joke to self-deprecate then laugh it off.  I know I deserve it and am worth it (logically, anyway), so why is this so hard?  From what I have been hearing though as I shared my thoughts, some of us also feel the same way.  Maybe this will always be a work in progress.  Therefore, it is my goal this year to try to release that discomfort and existing feeling of unworthiness, to make room for more opportunities to take in love.  Self-love is no joke, kids!

Despite it all, it has been a wonderful year.  I actually feel like I’ve lived 3 years in the same year.  So much crammed in such little time.  I’ve come closer to realizing what really matters to me and what works/does not work for me.  I have become a lot more honest with myself, even when it isn’t always pretty or easy, and I have developed the courage to act upon it as well.

Grateful for all the teachers this year – people and experiences.  I am ready to kick 27 in the ass!

Stay tuned for an exciting project about to launch :).

PS. Anyone notice this?

Yeahhhhh … bought that domain name. About time! Guess this means I’m official? Hahaha doin’ it!

Love you all!  See you guys back in Toronto June 19th ;)!

xo