Happy Thursday!
I bet you are all wondering what is up with so many posts in a week, but of course not complaining because you lurrrrrrve me.
A song that kept me/will keep you smiling and hopeful:
It’s been a quiet day and because all my plans had been jam packed into the last month preparing me to leave for what would have been yesterday , the next few weeks are going to be spontaneous and going with the flow. Not complaining at all though, I’ve been long overdue for some down time at home to just be here.
However, you can probably guess what happens when there’s too much time alone (‘too much’ only feels like a lot because of the lack of it in the past few months) – all the thoughts and feelings swarm right at you and you have no choice (actually that’s false) but to accept it and let it absorb. The other route would be to run away and ignore it but we’re over that.
I’m going to be honest and admit that I haven’t been feeling my best today about this unexpected twist. While I realize it’s important to look on the bright side and think positive – which, if you can’t tell by now, is in my blood – I have also learned that it’s equally important to face the situations and accept them as they are along with how they make me feel.
I woke up refreshed after a 9 hour sleep but couldn’t help but think that if things had gone as planned, I would have been in Jeddah today – making my way to my new villa, meeting all sorts of new and wonderful people and marvelling at the estranged but beautiful world I am just getting to know. That thought lingered on for a bit until I saw on FB that another friend who was also delayed got her visa and flight ticket in and set to leave for Dubai in a few days. Definitely happy for her, but definitely could not help but feel a little jealousy and think ‘when is it my turn?’. To top that, another friend is flying tomorrow for school and my cousin is also leaving tomorrow for good.
The voice became louder in my head: “WHAT ABOUT ME?”
Today, I am definitely feeling like the statue. Not because I got shitted on (pardon me), but because I remain stationary as I watch my friends fly.
I couldn’t help but think that things were unfair because I had done everything right and as early as possible yet I am left to be the last one standing. I knew I was digging myself a hole when I felt sorry for myself.
After that taste of self-pity and quickly remembering how disgusting that is, I quickly remembered these quotes that always dig me out of the hole whenever I get stuck:
And I got on with my day, just trying to let those feelings simmer.
It included some gym time to test out my new runners (the smog outside just wasn’t cutting it):
And some Starbucks time to sit, do nothing and read momma O … the woman I can always turn to for a lift without fail!
Sweating and inspiration means a pretty awesome day.
Add on a glass of wine and some writing at the end and I’ve got a perfect day!
This is [BLAM] I am 